Don't Assume, Ask

A Story of a German Train Worker

Connor Widmaier
Sept 18th, 2023
Munich, Germany

Visited Konstanz this weekend, where I lived in 2022-2023

This morning, I was riding the train through the Bavarian countryside when something funny happened.

I was on my way home to Munich after visiting my dear friend Herr Kleiner and his wife in Konstanz. The thing is, Konstanz is in Baden-Württemberg, a different federal state than Bavaria which also has different rules about carrying your bike on the train….

We’re wizzing past the Danube river when the female conductor approaches me.

The Danube (Donau in German)

Haben Sie Ihr Ticket?
(Do you have your ticket?)

I proudly showed her my 49 euro “Deutschland” ticket, which lets you ride on any regional train for 30 days.

Gut, und für das Fahrrad?
(Good, and for the bike?)

Oops.

The thing is I forgot to buy a bike ticket. I got on the train in Baden-Württemberg, which lets you freely bring your bike after 9:00am. But as I found out, you need to buy a separate bike ticket 24/7 in Bavaria.

I then told her my little story. And she suggested I purchase a ticket through the Deutsche Bahn App right there.

However, I told her I have had problems updating my DB app and couldn’t purchase online because it prompted me to use a German IBAN (bank ID).

This is when things get interesting.

Once I shared my money is in USD, and she realized I was a foreigner, her entire demeanor changed. She started talking very slowly, and even used some sparing English sentences:

Zis is Bawawia. Yoo need a bike ticket hier.

Now admittedly, she’s probably had similar experiences with foreigners in the past. And English may have been the better option. But the strange part was I had shown no difficulty in understanding her German, and had not used any English myself.

So instead of her English coming off as helpful, it felt patronizing.

Now, I’m not writing this post to blame or criticize the German lady. I’m writing it as a reminder to myself and hopefully to you.

We often assume things about situations on a limited data set.

Foreigner = Can’t speak good German

But when we act on a limited data set, rather than being effective, we can come off as offensive and leave people feeling misunderstood or turned off.

Instead, if she had simply asked me:

Oh Sie sind nicht von hier, können Sie mich gut verstehen?
(Oh you’re not from here, can you understand me well?)

I would’ve said yes, and we could’ve continued our negotiation.

Luckily, she proved to be rather forgiving and let me purchase the 8 euro bike ticket with the 7 euros and 60 cents in my pocket rather than give me the dreaded 60 euro “Schwarzfahrer Strafe” (Black riding penalty).

But moving forward, I’ll keep this story as a reminder to:

Ask before you assume.

Because one clarification question can make or break an interaction.

Thank you for reading.