On Self Reliance from Emerson
New Essay
I recently read a translated version of Emerson’s essay Self Reliance.
It was painful for me to read. Because it helped me realize that many of my mistakes from the past few years came from not accepting self reliance, and wanting to offload my decision making process to other people.
For example, a year ago, I was thinking of partnering with a friend on a business venture.
Ultimately I decided not to (he’s since done extremely well) but how I got to the decision is the real problem. Rather than sitting down, meditating, journaling and deciding for myself, I tried to offload the decision to people close to me.
I asked their opinion.
And when I later regretted that decision, I held resentment toward those who consulted me on that decision.
And so, in both situations I tried to get rid of responsibility:
In making the decision
In accepting the consequences of the decision
When I look back, I knew what was the right decision in my gut, but I was too coward to make the decision on my own because it felt risky.
It’s like the spouse objection in sales. People who need to “talk to their wife” typically don’t actually need to talk to their wife. We even give them a 48 hour fully refundable deposit if they “have a rule.” More often though, they are just uncertain in their ability to make a decision so they kick the can down the road and lean on their support system.
The point is, in the short term, it’s easier to offload your decisions to other people, but if you try, you’ll might ultimately make the wrong decisions for yourself and harm your relationships in the process.
When you know what you want, do it.
P.S. Here is the essay:
Self-Reliance - McGhee Leadership
mcgheeleadership.com› wp-content › uploads › 2014 › 08 › Resources-Page_Adam-Khan-Self-Reliance-Modern-Language.docDOC
Great read!