The Power of Using Names (without sounding corny)

A New Spin on an Old Tactic

March 3, 2023 — Greetings from Madrid, Spain🇪🇸

Today, I’m going to teach you a new way to use other people’s names. This will help you:

• Build rapport

• Make people pay attention

• Avoid sounding like a corny robot

Here we go:

Building Rapport with Names 101

If you’re reading this, you probably already know that remembering and using someone’s name is a powerful way to become likable.

“Remember that a person's name is to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language” - Dale Carnegie

But the reality is, most smart people know this already too. And when people are aware of a persuasion tactic, it becomes less effective.

From my own experience, when I sense someone trying to appear overly likable, they immediately trigger my suspicions. So today, I’m going to teach you an advanced technique to use people’s names without sounding like you’re trying to persuade.

How I Learned This

When I was in college, my mom read an article about Warren Buffet.

The author claimed that Warren only hung one diploma on his wall. Not his university degree and not his Ivy League Master’s Degree. Only his Dale Carnegie Course Certificate.

Why?

Allegedly, the course had completely “changed his life.”

And so, she signed me up for a three-day intensive Dale Carnegie training in New York City. (The live, in-person course on How To Win Friends and Influence People).

Meeting the Master

Three years later, I reconnected with my trainer, a sturdy Scottish man named Graham. Graham is now a Master Trainer based in Australia, but because he had remembered my positive energy, he agreed to a 30-minute Zoom call to discuss my future.

As we were wrapping up the call, I noticed Graham did something different than most people.

Instead of hammering me with my name at the end of the call:

• Pleasure to connect with you, Connor.

• Thanks for making the time, Connor.

• Goodbye, Connor

He didn’t say my name at all.

Instead, he strategically sprinkled my name in the middle of the call, particularly at critical moments or when I looked down to take notes:

• You see, Connor…

• Thank you for that, Connor.

• One of the most rewarding parts of this job, Connor, is that…

And each time he did that with fitting tonality, he immediately captured my attention. Like Pavlov ringing a bell.

This got me thinking, so I wanted to share it with you.

My Conclusion Is

As persuasion tactics become well-known, they become less effective. One way to maintain effectiveness is by breaking the common pattern.

To use someone's name more effectively in a conversation, strategically sprinkle it throughout the interaction instead of just using it at the beginning and end.

This approach can be more powerful in building rapport and influencing others.

Have fun my friend!